Find Yourself

Every morning when we wake up, we face ourselves. While our thoughts may be of work to be done, plans to be made or people to please; our first awareness each day is of our own embodiment. I have found that if I wake up to chaos - a jumbled bedroom, a messy bathroom, a kitchen in disarray - my awareness is naturally negative. If we begin each morning defeated by circumstances and our own thoughts, how can we expect to grow and accomplish things?

Simplicity can free you. I had a riding student whose business was teaching people to un-clutter their lives. When offered a brochure, she would read it and hand it back, making a note if necessary in her own little book. She did not even take on, momentarily, the objects that would become clutter in her life. Her car was clean, neat, simple inside and out. I can only imagine how her home would be! Her life, truly, must have been (and is, she is just no longer my student) filled with clarity.

After knowing her, I took a long look at my own "feng shui", the energy of my home and stable. I found that I had, once again, accumulated tons of things I did not need, but felt compelled to hang onto... just in case. Now, I must quickly say that you have always been able to walk freely throughout my home and see every wall, window, piece of furniture, etc. But, the clutter was there on the surface and, with the picture of my former student's probable abode in my head, I decided to find myself under the accumulation.

A roll of trash bags in hand, I started at one end of the house and worked my way through... I only partially filled one large trash can, but I had opened up my world and the morning after, I faced a lovely bit of simple neatness. With 3 wonderful dogs sharing my home, I know it will never be spotless - but organized it must remain so I do not lose myself again under the insulation of clutter.

And insulation it can be. If you want to disappear and be "comfortably numb", nothing works quite as well as just not caring, not cleaning and being a victim. Slipping quietly into the cocoon of the "setting sun world" where you do not have to shower, shave, dress or be productive. It can happen. Then, when your senses return, you see the sadness of it and look to the "great eastern sun", the sun rising on your world and shining light into all the corners.

You take a deep breath, then another, clearing the "mind" and "soul" clutter with each exhalation. You begin to see everything around you, the trees, the earth, the horses and dogs and the world you create as sacred. Then you see yourself as a genuine, good human being and you find the joy of a day spent in meditation with a pot of tea and a cheese sandwich and it hits you - life is its own answer.

As I walked about the stable yard this evening, I felt a deeper connection to my past. I was remembering past stables, past horses - but not in a regretful or comparing way - I felt a keen sense of it all being linked. As if the energy of all the things I have done, seen and been were just as real and immediate as what I was doing tonight. I felt more real. more valid, more present than I have felt in years. It reminded of my childhood when I would spin head over heels under water in my grandfather's pool with a swim mask on; churning thousands of bubbles, then release and let myself float to the surface with those bubbles... watching them... being them. In those moments, I felt connected to all the water on the planet. It was as if all water everywhere was dancing with me.

Tonight, I want you to feel deep connections to the important things in your life. I found the clarity and inspiration of my meditation to be my catalyst. It never hurts to relax. It never hurts to just breathe. It is powerful to take a penetrating look directly at yourself and allow that vision to become something awesome.